" ... and so , we give you a recipe. How you cook with it is your business." *)
" Every action, every decision you have ever made
has brought you to this place, this now.
Bless all that has happened in your life
which has been discordant. You have created it all
thAt you may know who you really are.
Own it all. You are not a victim,
and neither is anyone else. "
This is an invitation to work with life from the place of understanding ourselves as
co-creators, meaning looking at
any situation that arises from the place of taking 100% responsibility for whatever it is
that we co-create...
Many people agree with the sentiment that we are co-creators, yet when it comes to
evaluating situations that challenge us, all of a sudden, we may find ourselves
in a very familiar and well-rehearsed story... namely that what's "over there"
has nothing to do with us. In general, we are very good at hiding from ourselves.
Take this 'pandemic' , for example.
How have we co-created such a thing ? Well, we have put a heavy emphasis on
fear for a long long time. Movies, books, computer screens all tell us to
be afraid. How could we not call it on when we see almost daily some alert
about some 'virus' on the computer ???
Thought plus emotion is powerful magic.
We would do well to wake ourselves up
from pointing fingers and take responsibility. Only in that way can we
change our individual/collective experience.
I have come to understand that, however challenging the situation,
our inner Co-creator is interested in what manifests for reason of opening the
view, re-evaluation and alignment of judgment.
When we allow ourselves to tune into that understanding, we can open to
dropping below the surface of the happening to the medicine of it.
The short version of this work is *
- to acknowledge that everything we experience is part of our co-creation.
- to take 100% responsibility for it and acknowledge the feeling it creates for us
- to understand that behind the feeling ( which, in essence, is always fear when we
want to disconnect from the situation) is judgment
- to align the fear/judgment by acknowledging it and allowing ourselves to feel.
- then we can ask ourselves : when did i first feel this way ?, in other words,
where did it start ?
- last but not least is to look at what benefits may (have) come from what we often
consider 'a disaster'...
It's a good idea to be aware that the part in us that is judgmental likes to believe that
this kind of work is not relevant for whatever reason ( too intellectual, too much
'magical thinking' etc. in order to avoid having to change...
My experience has been that what we co-create is amazingly accurate in
regards to the challenge it asks us to face and that it doesn't have to be
"heavy" at all, even if , at times, it may feel intense or uncomfortable.
In fact, the Universe has a great sense of humor and what comes often has
an element of lightness in it, if we can open to it.
(We are all players and have known for millenia how to "bullshit" ourselves.)
Additionally, these are good questions to reflect on/feel into
when we see something we don't like in another :
In what way am i that way ?
Can i embrace whatever came up and see myself in the mirror, however uncomfortable ?
Can i connect to the woundedness (= expression of fear) behind the defensiveness of
myself/ the other ?
Can i forgive myself for what i co-created ?
The point i'm trying to make is this :
It takes a whole lot of energy to pretend that there's nothing there for us
to look at within. But it won't go away. We'll just co-create the same patterns
again and again, since SOULGROWTH is why we are here.
We're not here to be part of the economy or whatever ( although we may
get excellent lessons by participationg in it ).
We're here to grow. Unfortunately, the pressures are often such that we
think we don't have the luxury (= time) to inquire within.
Also, when we don't look at what's within, we often delgate it to the without.
Denial does not help us to transform our "hang-ups" !
1) The first step , taking 100% responsibility for whatever happened,
whatever situation (conflict/dis-ease/accident/loss/addictions ) is with us, takes
the acknowledgment that we are indeed co-creators.
To do that, it is important to observe the situation from a place of the greater view ,
the Greater Self, if you will , that holds no judgment about whatever occurs .
Be clear about this : the Universe holds no judgments.
Whatever we have created that we do not like we create to embrace into
the light of our compassionate awareness.
We create it so the fear can be transmuted.
We have been here many times and all the things we create are collective issues .
So, to start with , you may want to write down these questions :
What do i want to learn , what HAVE i learned from the situation/interaction so far ?
When something triggers us, whenever there is a charge,
it is also an opportunity for healing through investigating it.
Take time to inquire into this; write down the answers.
Ask yourself "when did i first ( or last) feel this way and what was that situation?"
2) Then, FEEL THE FEELING that the situation brings forth.
Embrace the feeling that arises , like you would a child .
Though there are only 2 feelings - love and fear -
we may have to work our way through other expressions of fear first, all
rooted in judgment.
Allow it to move through, realizing that one expression will lead
to the underlying one . It is not necessary to really pound a pillow,
one can just observe a feeling on a felt-sense level ... allowing it to move through .
If you are feeling deep grief, you're usually at the root of the feeling
Allow yourself to be a compassionate witness ...
Whatever is still in fear in us , whatever is judged/
not in harmony, we will create as a 'problem' in our life ...
or see in the mirror that we perceive to be the problem .
When people speak about Karma, they often talk about it as something that happens
because we have done 'wrong'... that is not why we call in situations.
We call in situations so we can review and align our judgments about it and
our participation. There is no sin - there's only ignorance of the fact that
we are part of all that surrounds us.
3) After feeling the feeling and allowing it to move through , you may ask
yourself : what am i afraid of ? what is the judgment behind the fear ?
Where there is fear/anger etc., there is also a judgment behind it .
This is often a very old core-belief that we took on as a result of being
in that situation , i.e. ' I am not loveable/ not loved '.
By feeling the fear and holding ourselves from the place of compassionate witness,
the judgment can align itself . Something dissolves in the Solar Plexus
and can move up into the heart . When done at depth, with feeling, it is
an alchemical process. C.G. Jung said that the unreflected life is not worth
living. Well, i wouldn't go that far, but it sure can be rough going, if not for
one's self, then for those around us.
It is often much harder for 'successful' people to evaluate their lives unless
they are challenged by dis-ease etc. When we are well (off), we tend not to identify
with the suffering 'over there' as having anything to do with us...
we find ways to distance ourselves, or delegate our pain to others, so that
others live it out for us...
On some level, we are all 'in the soup', as humans.
Society as it is is of our making.
Recently, i overheard an interview with a very sincere man, someone who had
received a 'lifetime achievement' award for his influence in the broader spiritual
community of the US.
This man was talking about people coming together to 'heal' as something where
we become 'whole' because we are being complemented by others,
meaning that we can understand ourselves by "what we are not".
That, to me, is a misunderstanding of the truth... We take part to
recognize ourselves in the other... only it's not always easy to acknowledge if we
don't like what we see.
I've witnessed quite a few very confident spiritual 'teachers' who did not
at all own their inner woundedness. Which caused a heck of a lot of outer turmoil.
4) And with that, it is also to know that everyone involved in the co-creation has created
it for their own learning , to bless everyone,
ourselves included, and to bless our creation so that we may learn from it .
Whether anyone else involved learns from it or not is not really our business ...
unless there is something to share and it is safe to do so ,
it is only our job to un-wind and understand our own reason for co-creation .
When we take 100% responsibility, there is only one place to forgive ,
if we feel that way still, and that is ourselves ...
Taking responsibility in that way doesn't exclude anyone else
to be equally responsible ... it's just their lesson to learn - or not.
5) The last question you may want to ask yourself is ;
How else can i hold this (situation)?
Meaning , doing a 180 with it . Stand it on it's head - or yourself,
for that matter . Look at it from a different perspective. Not as a disaster ,
but as a "wondrous" creation that you called in to understand the
pearl of wisdom at the center .
My experience is that when we do this at depth, it is very trans-formative
and gets us to a new place .
Recently, i saw a bumpersticker that earnestly warned : fear is contagious, resist it !
which may be well-meant but reminded me of the validity of the image in Greek myth
of the Medusa whose head, when cut off, grows back double-fold: 2, 4, 8 and so on.
Fear is that way, when we try to slay it - it will intensify ...
thought plus emotion is a powerful creator of circumstance.
Whatever we try to avoid will show up, not just because we give it energy, but also
because we are in judgment.
We come here for the adventure of the thing and -
in my view - to learn about co-creation and how to, perhaps, become more
adept : ) at it... Since we live in this reality of duality, one part of the journey is to live
with the paradox that one can only overcome by surrender -
to who we are, not to who we are not.
That's a riddle that many sincere people have tried to solve/resolve
within a lifetime. It may take a few. Time is not really of consequence when looking
at the big picture... and that cannot be grasped through taking things apart and
trying to explain them, as science likes to do.
Allowing the heart and the mind
to work together is a way of understanding our woundedness;
remembering our true Nature happens through getting out of the way altogether.
More knowledge brings more responsibility, always.
To observe ourselves compassionately when we are not living up to our ideals
is one of the most powerful ways of becoming more truthful.
*) this material was taken from : the P'Taah tapes, books 1&2 , channeled by Jani King
book 1 : An Act of Faith
book 2 : Transformation of the Species